The Feel Good Soup

The philosophical ramblings of a psychology enthusiast who endeavours to live a passionate, meaningful life.

Year in Review: Looking Back, Looking Forward

I was debating whether or not to do this post, but I’ve come to realize that it’s only cliché to evaluate the past year and plan for the upcoming year, if you don’t take it seriously. I used to think this whole personal development stuff was cliché bull crap. But in 2016, I half-assedly took it seriously, and as I looked back during the last couple of weeks, I realized I actually had an amazing year!

Imagine what kind of year 2017 will be if/when I actually whole-heartedly take it seriously!

So what happened that was so amazing?, you ask. Let me take you on my journey. (more…)

Words of wisdom from Disney, on the road to following your passion

I watched the remake of Cinderella recently, and I was surprised at how strongly I related to the message it conveyed. In this rendition, two words resonated throughout the entire story:

Have COURAGE, and be KIND.

Two words never held so much meaning for me, as they do now.

Have Courage

In a world where following your passion is something only adolescents and millennials are supposed to do, where it becomes dangerous to do once you’ve finally jumped into “adulting”, following your passion takes courage. (more…)

Four important ingredients in creating the life you want

to do list

I was out for a walk the other day, during my lunch break, and I’d been craving shawarma from my favourite little spot near by. Interestingly enough, I had just watched an extremely powerful talk by Simon Sinek about Millennials (it’s not what you think). Anyway, I finally arrived at this tiny little shawarma takeout place, which is family owned and where the men who work there always serve you with bright beautiful smiles. The pleasant, friendly service is half the reason why I like that place so much; the other half is of course the delicious food on which I always put way too much garlic sauce for someone who has to work in close proximity with colleagues all afternoon.

That day, I noticed that the youngest in the family wasn’t feeling it. I’d spoken to him before and he had shared his passion of working in the fitness industry and his dream of opening his own gym. But he hadn’t been successful and so had taken this job. His smile was usually the brightest… but today, when I asked him how he was (as people do when they greet each other), he smiled kindly, allowed himself to be authentic with me for a few seconds, and admitted that he was just “alright – same old, same old”. I offered something along the lines of “Well it’s better than a lot of other people, right?”. But I knew, as I walked away, that I had missed an opportunity.  (more…)

How to deal with the guilt of moving upwards and seeing those you love stay behind

grumpy-old-man

I received a message from a friend the other day. The question that this person asked me was one that I asked myself for a long time. And I hadn’t realized that I had the answer until I wrote him back. I want to share this conversation with you today, with my friend’s permission and anonymity, in the hopes that it might help you too.

———————-

Dear Mel,

I grew up surrounded by poverty and addiction. So when I dug myself out of that hole and attained middle class-ness, I found that I couldn’t bring my whole family with me. I can’t even help them with money because it only feeds their addictions.  So I watch as they slowly kill themselves through awful decisions – medical, or drugs or alcohol, or abusive relationships – and I can’t help because they won’t accept what I can offer. No amount of money, even if I had it, would solve the problems of a lifetime of habitual behaviour.  When this happens, Mel, how do you deal with the guilt? (more…)

3 ways to help you navigate through negative emotions – OR – Happiness isn’t all about puppies, rainbows and unicorns. There’s a place for negative emotions too

sailing-ship

I’ve been doing a lot of thinking about the Ego versus our True Selves. I talked about how Jen Sincero calls the Ego the Big Snooze and how it’s that voice in our head that cautions us against every possible thing that might be the least bit risky.

Don’t play there, you might skin your knee!

Don’t talk to those people they might be mean to you, or maybe they’ll con you into giving them all your money.

Don’t apply for that job, you might bomb the interview and make a fool of yourself.

Don’t say yes to that friend who just invited you to take a trip with them, you might end up getting kidnaped or robbed!

Really, Big Snooze!?  (more…)

My battle with meditation

meditation-struggle

When people ask me about meditation, I tell them that I learned meditation when I was 18 years old; literally half my life ago. But I choose those words very carefully so that I don’t lie and say that I’ve been meditating since I was 18 years old. See the subtle difference there?

Meditation has been a part of my life long enough that I know its benefits. I’ve experienced the amazing, high-flying, practically miraculous feeling of consistent meditation practice. I KNOW how awesome it is.

But the trick – what always ends up killing me – is consistency.  (more…)

Leaders aren’t heartless robots. They’re people too

 

henry-ford-leadership-quotes

I was watching old Simon Sinek videos – the interview he did on Good Life Project, and the discussion he had with Scott at Live Your Legend. For those who aren’t familiar with Simon’s work, he wrote a very famous book called Start with Why (which I haven’t read yet, but I’m dying to read; it’s just that I have too many books on my “must read” list and haven’t had enough time to absorb it all yet), and has a great TED talk that I highly suggest you check out. Basically, his main schtick is Leadership. (more…)

Little Moments of Happiness: Talking to Strangers

Talking to strangers

Something interesting happened to me last week: a stranger spoke to me; like really spoke to me. I’m usually a pretty shy person when it comes to talking to strangers and meeting new people. Once I have that initial conversation, I’m good, but I’m often terrified of starting a conversation with someone I’ve never met. It speaks to that cultural lesson we all share that says don’t speak to strangers [because they might be dangerous](more…)

August 26, 2016

When you choose happiness, your choice overflows to affect everyone around you

Birthday girl

Today is my birthday. The thing about it is, ever since I became a mom (and moms everywhere surely will agree with me on this), my own birthday isn’t as important as it used to be. This is especially true for me since my daughter’s birthday is 9 days prior to my own. When she was a baby, we celebrated both birthdays at the same time, but I was conscious of the fact that it was really her birthday that mattered, and mine was just tacked on out of convenience; at least that’s how it felt to me. And I was ok with that. (more…)

Hello Inspiration. Hello Creativity.

3D-Inspiration-Wallpaper-1

I’ve missed you. I didn’t know, I hadn’t realized, it hadn’t dawned on me that I could see you as something that was separate from me. But I like interacting with you like this.

I can feel that you’ve just been hanging out with me this whole time, waiting for me to recognize you, to realize that “oh! THAT’s Inspiration! Oh, THAT’s creativity!” as if you were just someone I walked by every day, not realizing you’re the neighbour, until just now.  (more…)