The Feel Good Soup

The philosophical ramblings of a psychology enthusiast who endeavours to live a passionate, meaningful life.

How to deal with the guilt of moving upwards and seeing those you love stay behind


I received a message from a friend the other day. The question that this person asked me was one that I asked myself for a long time. And I hadn’t realized that I had the answer until I wrote him back. I want to share this conversation with you today, with my friend’s permission and anonymity, in the hopes that it might help you too.


Dear Mel,

I grew up surrounded by poverty and addiction. So when I dug myself out of that hole and attained middle class-ness, I found that I couldn’t bring my whole family with me. I can’t even help them with money because it only feeds their addictions.  So I watch as they slowly kill themselves through awful decisions – medical, or drugs or alcohol, or abusive relationships – and I can’t help because they won’t accept what I can offer. No amount of money, even if I had it, would solve the problems of a lifetime of habitual behaviour.  When this happens, Mel, how do you deal with the guilt? (more…)

LYL Blog Challenge Day 4: What’s one thing you’re proud of?

Again, here are the leading questions that were attached to today’s challenge. By the way, I highly recommend taking this writing challenge yourself. It’s been a truly amazing experience so far!

Think about something you’ve done and accomplished. It could be this year or 30 years ago. Ideally pick one of your most proud accomplishments to date. What is it? Who were you with? What were you doing? What actions caused you to experience the success you did? How did it feel? Did it positively impact anyone else?


Another tough writing assignment – which really end up generating the best posts. I’ve always enjoyed being “forced” to dig into my own head and follow the journey down the rabbit hole. I find that the more self-aware you are, the better equipped you are to face life’s challenges. You end up spending less time trying to figure out why you feel a certain way when faced with something difficult. When you know more about who you are, what you like and what you dislike, it’s easier to make decisions. As Scott Dinsmore often said “If you don’t know what you’re looking for, you’ll never find it”.